Over recent months, more men have contacted me concerned about what they describe as masturbation addiction. This is in addition to those who already seek support around pornography addiction and sex addiction, areas I’ve supported men around over many years in Sydney and online.
But the recent rise in concerns about masturbation seems to be driven less by personal insight and more by marketing messaging. I’m referring to social media, online advertising, and influencer content that pathologises masturbation in order to sell a product, system, or course. These promotions often promise a cure for ‘addiction’, offering a quick fix in exchange for payment.
This cultural trend worries me. Masturbation is not inherently dangerous, immoral, or something to be ashamed of. For many, it’s part of a healthy, private sexual life. And sometimes, it can even be protective. At the same time, many men describe struggling with masturbation habits and the impact these have on their lives, including a sense of losing control or procrastination. This is where therapy and counselling can help.
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Masturbation Isn’t the Problem: Shame Might Be
Masturbation has long been misunderstood. But the truth is, there’s research suggesting its benefits. One well-known Harvard study found that men who ejaculated around 21 times per month had a lower risk of developing prostate cancer. The mechanisms may include hormonal regulation, reduced inflammation, and the clearing of the prostate ducts.
Beyond physical health, masturbation can support emotional wellbeing: reducing stress, improving sleep, maintaining erectile function, and offering a way to connect with your own body in a safe and self-aware way. It can be a source of pleasure, release, or even comfort. According to research published by the CSIRO, masturbation can be a substitute for partnered sex and additional source of pleasure for those with partners.
So why the sudden fear around it?
When men tell me they are struggling with masturbation addiction, I don’t assume we’re talking about the same experience. One man might be distressed by a pornography addiction or how much time he spends edging, while another might feel stuck in patterns of gooning and losing hours online. Another might carry shame because he’s lying to his partner about his libido. Some feel disgust or disappointment with their own body or behaviour.
It’s clear to me that what’s often called masturbation addiction is really a response to something else, something deeper and more personal.
What’s Really Going On Beneath Masturbation Addiction?
When I sit down with men who are concerned about masturbation addiction, we rarely talk only about sex or frequency. Instead, the conversation turns toward what preceded the behaviour.
Sometimes, it’s:
- Burnout or chronic work stress;
- Loneliness or disconnection from others;
- Lack of sexual experience as an adult virgin;
- Grief, trauma, or unresolved emotional wounds;
- Shame around intimacy, dating, or sexual performance.
Often, what started as a pleasurable or even joyful act—masturbation—becomes something else over time: a numbing ritual, a coping strategy, a place to hide. For some, edging for hours is about avoiding other tasks. For others, gooning becomes a dissociative escape from responsibility or pain.
No single definition fits everyone’s experience. That’s why I don’t offer a ‘one-size-fits-all’ program or claim to cure you with a click. Change doesn’t come from shame. It begins with understanding.
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Talking About It Helps: Therapy for Masturbation Addiction
If you’re struggling with concerns about masturbation addiction, you might feel embarrassed, confused, or even hopeless. Therapy offers something very different to what influencers or internet coaches are selling: a space to talk openly, without being judged or sold something.
In our conversations, we work together to understand your story. What’s driving the behaviour? What are you hoping will change? What values matter to you?
Here’s what therapy with me usually involves:
- Starting slowly. You don’t need to explain everything in the first session. We begin with what you’re comfortable sharing.
- A conversational approach. My style is informal but professional. I want you to feel relaxed, not interrogated.
- Active participation. Change doesn’t come from sitting back. We’ll work together on small shifts, and I’ll support you to reflect between sessions.
- Practical tools. From boundary-setting to impulse awareness, I’ll help you develop strategies tailored to your life.
- A contextual approach. I’m not anti-masturbation, anti-porn, or anti-sex. Everything we discuss takes place in the context of your ethics, values, and goals.
Self-Compassion: A Key to Real Change
Many of the men I meet have a hostile relationship with their sexuality. They carry guilt, internalised shame, or a sense that they’re somehow ‘broken’ because of how often they masturbate.
In working with men who dislike themselves or report low self-esteem, I work from a self-compassion framework. This means helping you soften the inner critic and build a kinder relationship with your body, your pleasure, and your sense of self. Compassion is not indulgence. It’s a foundation for accountability and sustainable change.
If you’ve been punishing yourself for what you do in private, perhaps it’s time to try something different.
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Can I Get Help for Masturbation Addiction Through Medicare?
While masturbation addiction itself isn’t a formal diagnosis under the DSM or ICD (the manuals used by doctors to define health conditions), many of the men I work with experience distressing symptoms alongside their concerns. Anxiety, low mood, insomnia, irritability, or social withdrawal are some of these symptoms. In these cases, it’s often possible to access therapy through a Mental Health Treatment Plan from a GP, with a formal diagnosis such as Anxiety, Depression, OCD or Adjustment Disorder. Occasionally, Impulse Control Disorder is used, though this is less common.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, ashamed, or stuck in unhelpful patterns, it’s worth speaking with your GP about whether you might be eligible for Medicare-subsidised sessions under the Better Access Mental Health Treatment Plan provisions. It’s a way of getting support that acknowledges your distress without reducing you to a label.
If You’re Ready to Talk, I’m Ready to Listen
There is no vending machine solution for concerns about masturbation addiction. And I won’t promise you instant transformation. But I will offer you a safe place to be honest, reflect, and gradually take action that aligns with the kind of life and relationships you want.
Most clients begin to notice change within 5–10 sessions. I recommend keeping the gap between appointments to two weeks or less in the early stages, so we can build momentum and traction.
This work isn’t about fixing what’s wrong with you. It’s about helping you understand what’s happening and building something better from there.
Ready to begin your own shift around masturbation?
If concerns about masturbation, edging, or gooning are getting in the way of your wellbeing, let’s talk. You can book an appointment or reach out confidentially to contact me with your questions.
Your well-being matters and you don’t have to figure this out alone.