Is this Sex Addiction? Questioning ‘Sex Addiction’ in Therapy and Counselling Conversations

This paper examines the concept of ‘sex addiction’, and its increasing popularity since the emergence of AIDS in gay communities in the 1980s. Adopting narrative therapy’s ethical orientations of decentred yet influential positioning, and being in a ‘lifelong apprenticeship’, the author worked with a number of men to renegotiate their relationship with ‘sex addiction’ in… Continue reading Is this Sex Addiction? Questioning ‘Sex Addiction’ in Therapy and Counselling Conversations

Therapy and Treatment for Gay Mens Depression

Is Depression more common amongst gay men? I often see this question or similar in counselling forums on Facebook and elsewhere on the net. And as a mental health counsellor who has worked with gay men for much of my career, it’s tempting to jump in with an answer. But what concerns me is what… Continue reading Therapy and Treatment for Gay Mens Depression

What is Bisexuality? And how do I know if I’m Bi?

Individual attraction to both men and women has only been described as ‘bisexuality’ for about 100 years. What happened before that? Were people either straight or gay? I wasn’t around but I doubt it. Human sexuality is diverse and complex and always has been. It’s just our meanings and ideas about sex that remain confined.… Continue reading What is Bisexuality? And how do I know if I’m Bi?

Help Me, I’m Wasting Time Looking at Pornography!

Wasting time is one reason people contact me for help to stop or cut back on looking at sexually explicit images and videos. There are other reasons too. And there are reasons people start to use pornography in the first place. Opening up about about your relationship with pornography is a first step you can… Continue reading Help Me, I’m Wasting Time Looking at Pornography!

Benefits of Online Counselling for Men who are Gay and Married (to a woman) or Older Men Coming Out

If you are a man in your forties, fifties or older, taking the first steps towards identifying as gay or bisexual can feel difficult and frightening. You are not alone. Many men have made this journey before you. And therapy with a supportive and affirming gay counsellor over webcam or through telephone counselling offers a… Continue reading Benefits of Online Counselling for Men who are Gay and Married (to a woman) or Older Men Coming Out