Help to stop wasting time looking at pornography is one reason people contact me as a therapist. There are other reasons too. And there are reasons people start to use pornography in the first place. Opening up about your relationship with pornography is a first step you can take to recovering a sense of control.

Make an appointment to stop wasting time looking at pornography

A man tells me he is spending up to 10, 20 or even 30 hours on ‘porn binges’ over the weekends. Wasting time looking at pornography is leaving him tired. He loses concentration easily. He is presenting with dysthymia, a low-grade depression, unable to experience joy.

Or a wife might email me after finding pornography on her husband’s computer. She is worried about their relationship or concerned that their children might be exposed to what she has seen.

Sometimes I am contacted by gay men who report that porn has taken over their lives. Wasting time looking at pornography is keeping them from forming relationships with other men. It might be contributing to them barebacking (having unprotected sex) more often or returning to sex venues they would prefer not to visit.

Even women using pornography experience shame. They speak of wanting more from their lives. They wonder if it is affecting their relationships with their partners.

These are just a few examples. You likely have your own story of wasting time looking at pornography. There are many other kinds of circumstances that come up in my work. If you are in any of these situations or similar, don’t give up. There is help available and steps you can take, even from the privacy of your own home.

Three Steps to Dealing with Porn Addiction

First step: Act now. Today. Contact me and take the first step. Stop putting it off. Everyone who has consulted me about problems with pornography has later told me how relieved they were to have taken this step. If you delay getting help, you might convince yourself that you are beyond help or psychiatrically unwell. Letting a problem escalate until the stress is unmanageable is a familiar pattern. Getting help can seem like a last resort. But it doesn’t have to be. Don’t let it get to such a point of urgency.

Second step: Open up. I know that’s not easy. Our upbringing can condition us to think of sex as shameful and to avoid talking about it. Sharing with a therapist takes trust. I am bound by a code of ethics and accountable to a professional organisation (the AASW) to maintain your confidentiality. Opening up about your use of pornography is the start of recovering control over pornography.

Thirdly, the sessions might surprise you. The approaches I take don’t start with a condemnation of erotic or adult websites. I don’t judge pornography use. Will you feel comfortable opening up to someone who is already prejudiced against what you have been doing?

What is the Best Treatment for Addiction for Wasting Time Looking at Pornography?

We often have to talk first about how you started wasting time looking at pornography. What did you use porn as a response to? How has it been serving you? What do you get out of it? How does it affect your partners, friendships, hobbies etc? Maybe there is some valuable function that porn has provided. I’m genuinely interested in hearing about these things. Open, frank discussion often leads to insights.

I do most of my work with pornography addiction concerns online. But it is also possible to meet in person in my Sydney consultation room. If you are elsewhere – Melbourne, Brisbane or Perth for example – I encourage you to try online consultations. You can meet with me from anywhere and keep up sessions even if you travelling for business or living in a remote town. I’ve provided online counselling to Pilbara, Bowen Basin, Alice Springs and Nhulunbuy residents, as well as other isolated locations.

Many of the people who consult me are fellow professionals: lawyers, doctors and other health professionals, journalists, engineers, business executives and web entrepreneurs. The threshold for online pornography counselling is easier to cross than going to a clinic in person. If you don’t want to use webcam, you can also choose to do the entire session with the camera off or have a phone call.

How Many Sessions of Therapy for Porn Addiction will I require?

There isn’t a simple answer to this. Talking about porn use opens up other topics. Five consultations is a good start because it gives you time to get to know me and feel comfortable. Ten sessions is better. After ten appointments people usually have a better handle on the reasons they are wasting time looking at pornography.

If using pornography has taken up more and more time over a number of years, that might also take time to shift. Sometimes it is beneficial to continue over a number of months. In saying that, even one or two sessions can be influential. The important thing is to give it a try.

Is There a Recommended Book to Stop Wasting Time Looking at Pornography?

I am in the process of writing a book. Join my mailing list and you will hear about it as soon as it is available.  In the meantime, you can meet with me for an online consultation.

There is no manual to stop wasting time looking at pornography that works for everyone. In the years I have been working with this issue, I have not come across a single approach that fits all. I have heard of a lot of different methods and techniques for ‘stopping’. But beware of promises and guaranteed methods. What I offer is a customised service that responds to your unique experience of using pornography. I also draw on what others have shared as well as my own understanding and knowledge of what can work, developed over time.

To find out more, write to me now. Right now (preferred).

Or you can phone and leave a message if I don’t answer. I am usually in therapy appointments so it is rare for me to answer the phone.

In any case, make a start and get in touch. Start getting your life back from wasting time looking at pornography.